Fear.

What is fear?

According to Google, fear is “an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain or a threat.” As a kid, I feared the dark because I thought that was where the monsters could get me; I feared the ocean because that’s where sharks lived; and I feared swallowing watermelon seeds because that was how you started to grow a watermelon in your stomach. 

As I grew older, I overcame those childhood fears, which was awesome because I could spend more time in the ocean, I didn’t have to bring my night light to sleepovers (talk about an easy target for teasing), and I could eat as much watermelon as I wanted. The only issue was new irrational fears would replace the old ones.

The fear of failing.

Failing was a fear that I’m sure was present in my past, but I don’t recall any point where it was debilitating. Trust me, I’ve failed a lot, but the fear of doing so has never stopped me from pushing forward. Today I want to highlight a few failures I’ve had in my past and explain why I’m proud of them.

Breaking my wrist in Nationals

During my first year of college, our Lacrosse team qualified for national. Unfortunately, we did not win on day one, which made us settle for the consolation game on day two. Many of my teammates mailed it in because there was nothing to play for. I didn't, even when challenging a midfielder that was a good 70 lbs heavier than me on a fast break. The play resulted in him scoring, and my wrist fractured. The following day I went from just being a walk-on to a scholarship-awarded athlete for my dedication and commitment to the team. 

Submitting the same prototype in 10 different ways

Junior year, I got a concussion that took me out of play for several months. That same weekend, in Studio 1 (a required course for Industrial Design Students), we were assigned to create ten prototypes of the concept we would develop further throughout the quarter. When I got to class that Monday morning, I quickly realized my mistake. Maybe it was the concussion, but I didn’t hear that the prototypes had to be “different.” Luckily my professor understood my situation but still had me present the prototypes. After ten rounds of showing off the same model (and a few chuckles in between), I was allowed to resubmit the models at the end of the quarter for full credit.

Getting laughed at in a foreign country

In high school, I was part of an exchange program to go to China with three other classmates for three weeks. During our time there, we presented to the student body of the school we attended classes. During the Q&A portion, we got asked how many AP (advanced placement) classes we took back in the States. Unfortunately, my three other classmates took 2-4 AP classes. I was in a few honors programs, but I had to say “Zero” when it was my turn to answer the question. My response was met with an auditorium of students trying to suppress their laughter.

The meaning of today’s stories

I share these moments because they all have built and molded me into the person I am today. At the moment, breaking my wrist and getting scored on in nationals could be seen as a failure if you considered it in the game's framing. That “failure” led to getting a scholarship that helped with my schooling. Presenting ten of the game prototypes in class and failing the assignment could be seen as a failure if you look at it through the framing of just that assignment, but that “failure” taught me the importance of pushing through something that is still important even when success feels out of reach. Getting Laughed at by 400 students could be viewed as a failure by most of my classmates that day. That day taught me that people would sometimes laugh and not understand your dreams, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t dreams worth chasing.

When you frame moments as building blocks for developing a better version of yourself and always look to learn a lesson from them, there’s really no such thing as failure. So when there is no such thing as failure, what is there to fear?

I’d love to hear about moments you’ve “failed” in and what lessons you learned from them in the comments below.